Stupid Tenant Tricks
Here is another installment of real-life "stuff" that has happened in the building(s) that I manage, or what I like to call "Stupid Tenant Tricks".
- A parker in the garage left his car in the fire lane instead of using a parking spot. The parking staff stuck an orange sticker on the car advising the parker that we have recorded his license plate and if he does this again we will have him towed. The parker called our office, irate that the sticker was too hard to peel off the glass and we better not put another one on his car again. Our parking manager was very understanding and gave him the number of the tow truck company that will tow his car next time he parks there.
- After sending a memo advising our tenants of an upcoming power shutdown, a tenant called to ask me if their computers would need to be turned off prior to the shutdown. I told him that if his computer is left on, the building would automatically turn off his computer when the power is turned off. He asked how we did that.
- A group of foreign tourists stopped me in the lobby asking me, in broken English, why the observation area was closed to the public. I told them that there was simply nothing to see.
Water is the secret ingredient.
- While I was standing in line at Starbucks, we were informed that their water filtration system was not working and they could not make any coffee for a few hours. A tenant further up the in line asked why they could not use the building tap water to make the coffee. The Starbucks employee replied "Have you tasted the building water?"
And finally...
- A tenant called me one morning to report that the water in her bathroom was brown. It took everything I had not to tell her that the little silver handle above the commode is designed to remedy that problem immediately....
Sitting on the Hurricane Sidelines
Much to my wife's dismay I spent a lot of time this past weekend watching Hurricane Irene coverage on the Weather Channel. I don't live anywhere near the east coast as my website name implies, but I cannot resist good hurricane coverage. It was far more interesting to sit in my easy chair in the cool air conditioning, sipping a beer, and watching the weather guys talk ad nausea about storm surge, flooding, rain and wind than it was to prepare for a storm like this. Hey, I deserve to sit this one out. After all, I am veteran of three hurricanes in my lifetime so far. I rode through Ike a few years ago, Rita a few years ago before that, and then Alicia back in 1983.
Hurricane Irene
I think what is lost on folks about hurricanes is not so much the storm itself but the time it takes to recover from it. Once the rain and wind is gone it takes a long time to get life back to normal, mainly because of power outages. Power outages suck, especially in Texas during the months of August and September. It gets hot - damn hot, and add a bunch of humidity to that it can make the time after a hurricane much more painful than the storm itself. The roads usually get cleared in a day or two, your yard gets cleaned up, trash piles form along the street, but the power can stay out for a very long time. Add to the fact that many of your regular conveniences such as grocery stores, gas stations, etc., are without power and are closed just adds to the misery.
When Ike threatened Texas a few years ago I was proactive and spent the money on a generator. What a life saver that was! I remember what a blessing these little noise makers can be from my experience with Hurricane Alicia in 1983. My dad ran out a few days before the storm and rented a generator. He ran that thing during and after the storm to power our refrigerator, freezer, television, and a fan in the kitchen. It sure as hell made it a lot more bearable as we were without power for a week. I remember spending hours upon hours on the living room floor playing board games with my neighborhood friends. I had a "boom box" that was tuned into the local top 40 station where we listened to "Electric Avenue" by Eddie Grant. To this day when I hear that song I think about playing board games on the sea-foam green carpet in our living room waiting for the power to come on. (Yes, sea-foam.. That's a different blog entry all together).
So, when you read all of these stories of damage and heartbreak from Irene, and then the statistic of "1 million people still without power" pops up on your screen, say a little prayer for those folks. I am sure they are thankful to be alive and survived the storm but their true trial of survival is just getting started until the power switch is flipped back on. =)
Share your hurricane stories with me - I'd love to hear them.
Page 2: Designated Passenger
Ok friends it's time for a pop-quiz. You are driving down the freeway, minding your own business, drunk as hell. Guy runs across the freeway and you hit him. He flies through your windshield and lands in your passenger seat. Do you keep driving? I guess so...
Onak the Great......dumbass
From the Houston Chronicle: "the Precinct 8 deputy noticed the driver had blood on his face. He also saw that the front windshield was shattered and partially inside the vehicle. The deputy constable then saw a body in the passenger seat, partially underneath the dashboard and with a severed leg.
Police allege Onak struck 32-year-old Fadel Steadman with his car on the Gulf Freeway in southeast Houston and kept on driving for three miles while the man's body lay in his passenger seat. Onak was later arrested and charged with felony failure to stop and render aid involving a fatality and driving while intoxicated."
How drunk was he? The article continues: "Onak told Armand he thought he had hit something while driving down the Gulf Freeway, but he was not sure"
Page 2: A “Boobie” Trap
From Fox News: A 30 year old teacher from Ohio got drunk at a wedding. Ok, so what else is new? I know a lot of teachers that like to drink...A lot.
Go ahead.. make my day! (Delaware County's Sheriff's Office)
What makes this story interesting is that when the authorities came to arrest her for disorderly conduct (again, disorderly drunk teachers.. what else is new? My teacher friends are agreeing with me I am sure) she decided to take out her boob and shoot breast milk at them. "Authorities say that when they arrived she screamed profanities and proceeded to remove her right breast from her dress and spray the deputies with her breast milk." It must of worked because the cops had to call for backup. The article continues: "Additional deputies arrived and were able to remove her from the car and arrest her."
Can you imagine the scene, with the drunk teacher clutching her right breast in the parking lot screaming "Stand back -- all of you! Don't make me use this! I don't want to hurt anyone!"
Must have been some potent breast milk.
Page 2: Suspicious Package? It “Depends”…
"Page 2" is a new segment of my blog devoted to those news articles that you may have missed, buried on page 2 of newspapers and websites...
From CNN: A 95-year old elderly woman was subjected to a pat-down by the TSA at a Florida Airport. During the pat down, "TSA agent came out and told her that her mother's Depend undergarment was "wet and it was firm, and they couldn't check it thoroughly." The mother and daughter left to find a bathroom, at the TSA officer's request, to take off the adult diaper."
Lena Reppert and her daughter Jean Weber (Fox News)
Sure, we can all get upset that this 95 year old lady had to go through this. And, yes, it was probably a bit extreme. However, I applaud the TSA for doing their job thoroughly. I mean, really, why would anyone WANT to check an adult diaper, described as "wet" and "firm", of a 95 year old woman?
I wouldn't!
Recent Posts
- Stupid Tenant Tricks
- Sitting on the Hurricane Sidelines
- Page 2: Designated Passenger
- Page 2: A “Boobie” Trap
- Page 2: Suspicious Package? It “Depends”…
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