My Father’s Day Blog Entry
It's been a while since I have written because, quite frankly, I have been stuck. You see, with Father's Day coming and going I read a lot of good and not so good articles on the subject. I read about abused children, loved children, children with fathers, children who didn't know their father, children that took their dying father to a baseball game, and a myriad of other light articles on the topic. So, being the good blogger I am, I wanted to write a Father's Day article too! Heck, I felt I qualified as someone who could write on this subject. First, I was a father. Check. Second, I can write. Check. Lastly, I have something great to share about father's day! Um.. No.
My first real case of writer's block. I didn't have some great revelation or story to tell that made me a better father than others. My father didn't abuse me (well, except for a corny sense of humor which he still contends is my mother's fault) and there are no experiences that I have had as a father (yet) that might be overly enlightening for others to read about. So what pearls of wisdom could I possibly share?
My son and I at Gulf Shores, Alabama, 2001
Then it dawned on me as I looked around the room. My son made something for me when he was a very young man back in 2001 and I have it proudly displayed on the wall in my study. It is a piece of construction paper with his little footprints on them and a poem glued to the center of the page:
"Walk a Little slower, Daddy." said a little child so small.
I'm following in your footsteps and I don't want to fall.
Sometimes your steps are very fast, sometimes they're hard to see;
So walk a little slower Daddy, for you are leading me.
Someday when I'm all grown up, You're what I want to be.
Then I will have a little child who'll want to follow me.
And I would want to lead just right, and know that I was true;
So, walk a little slower, Daddy, for I must follow you!
When I look back at my life I am reminded just how much my father's morals and guidance impacted my life as a child and as an adult. It is an awesome responsibility for me to set that example for my son both now and in the future. Sometimes I forget that a young man is, in a sense, following in my footsteps.
Can you make Father's Day resolutions? I think I will make it a point to slow down a little more and remember who is following me.
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What exactly are they delivering?
I took this picture yesterday on the way to work. I am not sure that if I were to own a trucking company I would name it this.
Men Behaving Badly
As I have mentioned in previous entries, my son plays on a select baseball team of 12 and 13 year old boys. We do weekend tournaments every other weekend that bring together teams from all over the area. We see a lot of different personalities in the players, parents, and the coaches. Usually everyone at these tournaments has a great attitude and cheers their kids on in a friendly way. However, every now and then you run into a coach or a parent who has a different attitude. This past weekend we saw two examples of baseball coaches that I would never allow my son to play for. Quite frankly, I was amazed that the parents sat idly by while these coaches made complete asses of themselves on the field in front of their boys (and ours!). Here's what happened:
Coach #1: We played well this weekend and ended up being the #1 seed for bracket play. This means that you get the team that finished the worst the day before as your first opponent, which we will call the purple team. Well, this purple team really had no business playing in this tournament as they really were no match for anyone so the game moved quickly in our favor. We reached a point where one more run would have ended the game via a mercy rule. We had a runner on 3rd but our coach did not let him run home even though the next few batters managed to get hits and get on base. Why? Well, he wanted to make sure all the boys got a chance to bat in the game and he had one boy left to hit - his son. His son came up to bat and got a hit, scoring the final run and ending the game. The coach on the purple team came unglued at that point and started yelling and cussing at our coach. He was upset that our coach delayed the end of the game and kept his players in the sun for an extra few minutes instead of letting them go home. The other team's parents also started chiming in and yelling at our coach about his game play all at the astonishment of our parents. All our coach was trying to do was to be fair and give every kid on the team an at bat, and it just so happened his son was the last batter (his son being the last batter says something about our coach as well, don't you think?) Cooler heads prevailed eventually and everyone calmed down as our parents had to remind everyone that it was just a 12 year old baseball game and not the Mega-Championship World Series of the Universe.
Setting an example?
Coach #2: We continued to play well and made it to the championship game. We learned the coach of the other team had been ejected from a 10 year old baseball game earlier in the day for cussing out the umpire, so he decided to jump in and coach the 12 year old game instead since he was part of this club's organization. He was a hot head, arguing with the umpires on many calls and getting several warnings in the process. He didn't get ejected, but he managed to demonstrate his assness regularly during the game. At one point, he tried to steal home and sent a runner in while our pitcher had his back turned. He did not succeed and the runner was easily called out, but he then promptly started yelling at the umpire for not calling the pitcher for some sort of balk or whatnot. Essentially, he was trying to cheat. This went on and on after our kids left the field and there was a 5 minute delay in the game while the coach continued to yell at the umpires. He was about to be tossed when another coach pulled him off the field.
Now, I will be the first to admit that I am no saint on the baseball field. When I see a call go the wrong way or something happen that I don't think is fair I have a tendency to be vocal about it. However I think the coaches that volunteer their time to be mentors to these young boys have an obligation to always take the high road on the baseball field. So many of them seem to forget that their team of young, impressionable boys are watching them and in some way they are shaping how these boys will act when confronted with similar situations in their lives. The coach of my boy's team gets mad for sure when our team makes a bonehead mistake or gets a bad call but he never berates an umpire or a player during the game.
I guess the thing that keeps me grounded is that my son's future in or out of baseball has nothing to do with what happens on the 12 year old baseball field. I think that many parents have a hard time remembering that. I know we all are very protective of our children and want them to be successful, but their success is influenced more by the adult's behavior around them than the scoreboard at the end of the game.
(I welcome your comments on this article)
Maritime Ghost Hunting
I enjoy photography and consider myself an "amateur beginning photographer" if that makes any sense. I also like history and visiting old naval vessels. I have been on the likes of the USS Alabama, USS Texas, and the USS Lexington. So, when I saw this article my interest was peaked! Here is a photographer, Mr. Scott Haefner, slipping onto old warship relics currently at Suisun Bay, California, in an effort to take photographs of them. Judging from the articles on his website, this is par for the course for Mr. Haefner as he has repeated this method of operation before in other areas.
After reviewing his body of work, I found myself a little puzzled as to what his goal was for this adventure. He and his team risked federal prosecution to carry out this task on multiple occasions yet there was really no "mission accomplished" moment. Instead, we have a website with a few good photos of the relics and a lot of bad photos of decay, at least in my opinion. Many of the readers of his website seem to like his work so perhaps my eye for photography needs a lot more training. You guys tell me what you think.
There is a a fairly detailed account of the team's exploits on the website which leaves no real doubt that they broke federal law. I will have to add Mr. Haefner's name to my daily Google news alerts and watch to see if some young, hotshot federal prosecutor decides to discourage future trespassers and make an example out of Mr. Haefner.
Guns on the deck of the USS Iowa (Scott Haefner Photography)
I guess the biggest disappointment though is that Mr. Haefner had an opportunity to do so much more than just take pictures and publish his story. He notes in his story the deterioration of these vessels and the pollution they are causing. Also, some of the vessels also have some very historical significance yet are wasting away. Why not focus on the pollution issue or one or two particular vessels and tell their story through photography? Instead, we get random shots and and some maritime covert operations that will likely end up with Mr. Haefner facing some legal troubles.
I applaud the work and the ambition but wish the author had not stopped just short of the finish line.
A “Weiner” Trap?
If your workplace or Facebook page is anything like mine, you are undoubtedly seeing a lot of material on the exploits of the NY Congressman Anthony Weiner. Just in case you have been living in a cave for the past few days, he is in trouble for snapping pictures of his junk and sending the pictures to young women over Twitter. Apparently there are now also other photos of him that have surfaced and his level of ridicule is growing every day.
Don't fall into the "Weiner Trap"
Coincidentally, I read an article the other day about this very subject. No, not about smartphone pictures of underpants or anything like that. The article is titled "Why Leaders Lose Their Way". It's a relatively good read with some insight as to pitfalls that leaders face as they rise in the ranks and what causes them to fall into a "Weiner trap" so to speak. The article cites people who have seemingly reached a pinnacle of their career who have managed to have it all come crashing down around them.
The author makes some very good points that anyone in any sort of leadership capacity should pay attention to. It doesn't matter the size of the organization you lead because even if you have influence over one person you are a leader. Don't think that applies to you? "Lead" as defined in the dictionary states: to go before or with to show the way. This is a broad term that can be applied not only to business leaders but also teachers, clergy, doctors, lawyers, and yes, even government officials.
Some key takeaways I had with the article that I found worth sharing:
"Leaders who lose their way are not necessarily bad people; rather, they lose their moral bearings, often yielding to seductions in their paths. Very few people go into leadership roles to cheat or do evil, yet we all have the capacity for actions we deeply regret unless we stay grounded."
"When leaders focus on external gratification instead of inner satisfaction, they lose their grounding. Often they reject the honest critic who speaks truth to power. Instead, they surround themselves with sycophants who tell them what they want to hear. Over time, they are unable to engage in honest dialogue; others learn not to confront them with reality." (emphasis mine)
"Leaders can avoid these pitfalls by devoting themselves to personal development that cultivates their inner compass, or True North. This requires re-framing their leadership from being heroes to being servants of the people they lead." (emphasis mine)
So how do we keep ourselves grounded and focused on serving the people that we lead? Some thoughts:
- Prayer - Nothing can keep you grounded more than a regular walk with God and asking for his guidance.
- Mentors - Is there someone in your life that made you feel they were working for you as a leader? Seek their advice.
- Spouses - No one keeps me more grounded than Mrs. TxBubba. =)
- Balance between work and personal life - Read, exercise, watch TV, do something to take your mind off of work. It will help you keep a fresh perspective and reduce worry. Those that are not balanced here will eventually tip over one way or the other.
- The Newspaper Test - I love this one as it was part of the culture of a company I used to work for: If you have a decision to make that you are not completely comfortable with, maybe in a gray area of right and wrong, ask yourself (a) would you be comfortable reading about your decision in the newspaper tomorrow, and (b) what would your parents say after reading about your decision in the newspaper tomorrow.
I welcome your comments on how you keep grounded, and thanks for reading!
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